Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Gardens of my Childhood


As a child, so much of my time was spent outdoors. I remember traversing the grounds of our childhood home for countless hours examining every flower with great detail.

Using the term "grounds" to describe where I grew up, may create an illusion of grandeur. That was not the case. We were poor. The old farm house we lived in was over 100 years old and needed more care than our budget could possibly provide, but it wasn't hard to imagine that back in its day, it was a glorious place. From the old, pine wood floors to the antique french doors we found propped up against the stone foundation in the dirt basement, evidence was all around that this was a place about town, but nothing was more prominent than the gardens.   It was there that no attention to detail was missed and to me, it was magical.

The front yard.  It was always the front yard where my daily exploration began.  There, two majestic maple trees stood as if on guard.  I remember one winter, my father made a valiant, but futile attempt to collect their sap to make syrup.  I remember trudging out through the newly drifted snow, only to return with more snow in my boots than sap in the buckets. In the summer, however, there were treasures abound and it was there that I realized how important this land was to the lady of the house. She had not missed a single detail down to the very last shady crevice.  Violets, that were strategically placed in the shade of the trees had now grown wild throughout the grass.  I would drop to my knees and gently comb the blades of grass to uncover the purple gems. It was as if someone had hidden secret little gifts that only I could find. (Story to continue...)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Things I've learned this week.

Maybe there's no such thing as a "mid-life crisis", instead,  it's a "mid-life epiphany".  Maybe people are finally old enough and wise enough to realize that they have taken the wrong path for the wrong reasons and anxiety is their barometer. 

When we throw the word "crisis" around, it is a means of control. We want people to think that what they are feeling or doing is wrong, "think with your head", we say, because we ourselves are afraid of change, afraid of risk.  Crisis is what happens before all hell breaks loose.  

Choose, instead, to use the word "epiphany" and we are acknowledging a sudden moment of clarity, of light, giving them the freedom to "follow their heart".  That elicits constructive, positive change.  By mid-life they've darn well earned the right.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Things I learned today

Things I learned today:

1) If you leave your 13 year old son alone for 5 minutes with your 9 year old daughter while they are doing math homework in hopes he will tutor her a little,  you'll come back to find she has learned how to calculate "boobless" on the calculator.

2) When your 9 year old daughter tells you she asked your ex-husband if she could bring her bike over to your house for the weekend and he says, "yes, as long as you bring it back", he doesn't really mean, "yes, as long as you bring it back". Must get ex-husband code book.

3) Yes, the cat can in fact climb 4 shelves high in the pantry to the cat treat bag and will do so with impeccable timing to scare the absolute crap out of you when you've just watch way too many episodes of Ghost Adventures. 

Can't wait for tomorrow.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Pssst, You wanna buy a safe? A SAFE?? Shhh, riiiiiight.

I saw a guy selling safes on the side of the road today.  As a drove by I thought I'm not sure I feel safe buying a safe from a safe seller by the side of the road......1 mile later.....and if I have 1 safe it's "safe" but if I have 2 why isn't it "saves"......then I ate a sandwich.  Did you know my cat eats hummus?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dear Cat,

Dear Cat,

I can tolerate the smelly cat box. I don't like it, but I can tolerate it. (Even though I am not fully convinced, after hours of debate with you, that you are not capable of using the toilet, and don't give me that opposable thumb thing again. I've SEEN it on youtube, but I digress...) After all, you are a cat.

And I have come to terms with the fact that every time I leave the room you lick the peanut butter and honey off of my toast when I'm not looking. I know. You didn't think I knew, but I know. But, after all, you are a cat.

And while I still have not figured out what that sticky substance is on the poker chips or how the hole got in the wall during my weekend away at Boston, with a heavy sigh, I still have to chalk it up to "being a cat".

But drinking all my beer...that's just not cool.

- owner

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Experiencing the "ultimate" in Writer's Block today.


After knocking over the plant in the background several times, then pulling my computer battery cable out, Pee Wee decided to take a nap. 

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Today's Run

Learning to love my running again.

 I'm sure some of you will know what I mean. Sometimes things go on in your life, painful, hurtful things that cause you to react in different ways. Those of you that know me know that late last summer was a pretty rough time for me. Back then, there were two places I could find safety. One was in the middle of my very big bed and the other was to sink myself deep into my training. We call that "going into the cave".  Since insomnia was an issue, I only found myself in bed for around 4 hours a night. That left plenty of time for running.

I thought if I sunk myself deep into my training, if I pushed myself hard, it would distract me from the pain, buy me some time. The plan was to train as hard as I could then come race day in NYC I was going to lay it all on the table, push as hard as I could. It was going to hurt. I knew that. It would hurt like hell and in the end I would have won. A cathartic cleansing. And from the ashes I would rise again, like the Phoenix, and learn to live again. That day did not come and as I reached the top of one of the hills I ran today I stood there with my face to the wind and realized it was still in me, trapped like the most guttural of primal screams.

The running. I will learn to love that again and do it for all the right reasons this time. As for the scream, I only hope that the person that can help me the most is there for me when it comes out.

-ciao